Misunderstood
by Mage of Chaos
Summary: Lily and Severus's private thoughts about their friendship and loss. Set after The Incident. Songfic.


Author's Note: A songfic I wrote a long while ago using Gong Li by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Decided to let it see the light of day. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns my childhood…and these characters, but neither she or I own the Chili Peppers.

_**Some people say you hate me**_

I keep thinking about it, what could I have done differently? Should I not have decided to come and try to stand up for you? Did it really bother you that much to show that we are…were friends. Do you really believe what you said? Do I really mean that little to you? After all these years…

_**I don't believe it's true **_

_**Things that you're going through**_

No! I won't believe it! I know it hasn't always been easy for you, you stand out, and not everyone likes that. Now you're trying to fit in, fill that gap, that hole that's been inside of you all these years. But you can't just take the easy way out, you've never been one to skimp on the details, I know that because you've been my best friend for so many years…

_**Some people say you hate me**_

My friends say I shouldn't bother with you. That you're just Slytherin scum, not worth my time and my attention. You've been drifting away from me all year long, we no longer have the same interests and ideals. I always thought you were above name calling, but you managed to throw that back in my face today…

_**I don't believe it's you**_

_**Things that you're going through**_

I know who you are, a house cannot define a person and I wish I could show you that and you would believe me. You taught me to not care if I was different, even when my own sister hated me for who I was. I could never hate you, even though you've made some bad choices, you're still somewhere there, deep down. The same little boy who taught me it was okay to stand out, to brush off what other people said about me. They don't really know me…they don't really know you…

_**Some people sad I pray for**_

I don't know why you insist on pushing me away. I know Potter and his entourage have always managed to make you feel bad, no matter how many times you've told me you're above their stupid gimmicks. Even though you tell me not to worry about you…no one has before…I care, I always will…

_**The one you want to live**_

_**The eyes that once were his**_

Come back to me please. Don't dig yourself into a hole you cannot possibly get out of. Rise above the crowds, you have the power to be someone great. You're brilliant, please…don't give your talents to the wrong people, I know you think they understand you better. But they don't know who you really are, no one does, I think you've only shown that side to me….

_**Some people sad I pray for**_

Understand…I would never hurt you…

_**The way you want to live**_

_**The eyes you want to give**_

Your cool dark eyes…they only warm around me…and…and…I haven't seen that warmth in so long. It's there, it's okay to be vulnerable…it makes you human, no matter how much you don't want to be like all the rest of the silly teenagers…you have never and you never will be like them. Just…please…. just open up to me again, you used to tell me things…we've…we've drifted apart and it hurts, I feel like I've lost a piece of myself…

_**Some people say you played me**_

I know why you said it…to prove to your little friends you can be in their club…did you really think I wouldn't get mad?

_**I don't care if it's true**_

_**I'm waiting here for you**_

I wish I could just drop you…pretend we were never friends, but that can never happen. I know you didn't mean what you said…even when you were young and didn't even know me, you didn't care who I came from, what sort of family I had, I didn't either…that can't have changed. I know you don't listen to anyone inferior to yourself, despite your insecurities, I know you know you're better than them.

_**Some people say you made it**_

I know the rumors, I know what's going on, what you've planning to do…

_**I'm not afraid to know**_

_**When things are getting low**_

Why don't you trust me anymore? I know you've said that I try and run your life too much…I just…I just don't want anything bad to happen to you. Confide in me, I've always been your listener…I care too much to see you shut yourself up like you have been doing…open up to me…like you used to, back then…I can't go on being your friend if you won't, I just can't go on, give me a reason to believe you again…

_**Some people say you hate me**_

And I know it's true, why would you ever want to be friends, let alone spend time with someone like me. You're perfect, happy, smart, beautiful…and I'm worthless, definitely not valuable enough for your time. Especially after what I did to you…I didn't mean it, did I?

_**I don't believe it's true**_

_**Things that you're going through**_

But you were always more mature than the rest of them. I remember you telling me words are meaningless… sticks and stones right? I do know what you want, you want me to dump the friends I've found in the last year, but how could I do that now when I don't even know if that would make up for what I've done to our friendship…I'm not strong like you, I've been hated for too long to be all alone again, without you…

_**Some people say you hate me**_

I tried apologizing to you…so many times, you always seemed to be waiting for something else to come out of my mouth when I said sorry, but when it didn't come you turned away from me…

_**I don't believe it's you**_

_**Things that you're going through**_

I can't help but think about when we first met at the old playground, so much simpler then, you asked a question, I answered, no one but us... When did that change, or when did I change, we always beat all the odds, a Gryffindor and a Slytherin being friends, best friends…I know it was always hard on you, sticking up for me, and I did no such thing in return. I guess you got tired of it being a one-way street, it makes sense, who would willingly put up with that…with me…of course you wouldn't know…but…I'd defend you with my life…


End file.
